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Family Meetings: Kids Discuss the D Word
from: Jean Tracy, MSSPainful problems occur in every family. In fact, pain is a
challenge for everyone. The Family Meeting is an
excellent tool for discussing difficult situations.
Many of our children face the one thing that pains them most,
Divorce. In my 22 years as a child/family
counselor, I rarely found a child happy about his/her parents'
divorce. Instead they looked for ways to get their parents to
pull together. They thought if they became the focus of their
parents' attention, their parents might stay together. Some kids
exploded with anger. Some moped with depression. Others "dropped
out." Their tactics didn't work.
Family Meetings can help parents either separately or
together help their children cope. Below are 5 painful problems
that most children of divorce never want to face.
5 Painful Problems:
1. Learning that their parents are divorcing.
2. Moving to a different neighborhood and school.
3. Window watching for the visiting parent who doesn't come.
4. Meeting their parents' new lover.
5. Meeting the kids in the "other" family.
Divorce creates a hole in the hearts of our kids. Rather
than let that hole broaden and deepen, Family Meetings
can help our children voice their feelings.
At Family Meetings parents find out their children's
shocking thoughts and feelings,like:
* "The divorce is my fault."
* "If I had been a better kid, mom and dad wouldn't be
divorcing."
* "If I hadn't said the wrong things, maybe mom and dad would
still be together."
Finding out how our kids think and feel is the first step to
helping them. Listening and letting them voice their pain can
release some of the stress they are carrying. The Family
Meeting is a good place to share their pain.
Whether you're a single parent, a stepparent, an adoptive
family, a foster parent, or a two parent family, the Family
Meeting offers a powerful approach to easing pain and
helping our children cope. That's why I wrote Character
Building with the Family Meeting Diary. Why not use it to
discuss the painful problems in your family? You'll be glad you
did.
About the author:
Subscribe to Jean Tracy's Free Parenting Newsletter, Tips and
Tools for Character Builders at http://KidsDiscuss.com
BestEzines.com rates over 101,000 newsletters. Jean's newsletter
is rated as one of the top ten parenting newsletters!
You'll also find her new book, Character Building with the
Family Meeting Diary at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com
Download Free Parenting Tips at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com too.
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